Saturday, February 6, 2010

My New Journey

So I'm still focused on Triathlon Training and supporting the Blackwoods in their quest to find a Cure for Carcinoid. 2010 will be an exciting, different and challenging year. I'm going at my training differently this year as I am going to experiment with replacing the typical long/slow cardio training that is the norm for Triathletes with this new concept of crossfit and crossfit endurance. It's pretty intense stuff and it's the training regimine of warriors, special forces, policeman, SWAT, and it's really picking up steam nationally as the best total body fitness in the world.

It's tough and it's taking me out of my comfort zone but that is what it's all about, taking your mind and your body beyond what your conscious is telling you that you can do. Look for me to be shooting for a personal record and I'll try not to have a heart attack in the process! :-) For more on crossfit and crossfit endurance check out the two mainsites:

http://www.crossfit.com/
http://www.crossfitendurance.com/

For information on the local gym that I train at visit: http://jeanniesbeachcrossfit.blogspot.com/

Cheers and I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Reflections of What Lies Ahead

I can't believe it's been a year since we competed in our 1st Annual "Caring for Carcinoid" Triathlon at Breezy Point. It's so refreshing to have all the Blackwoods converging back on Hampton Roads to do it again in 2009. I've been thinking for some time now i need to get back on here and post some thoughts but I haven't had much to say. Too busy with work, spending time with family, and training for the upcoming race. I hate being too busy. Life seems to get in the way of those simple things that we long to enjoy. A lazy Saturday afternoon under a shade tree, driving over to spend time with friends just to shoot the breeze, curling up with an old book. I constantly long to simplify my life but it only seems to get more hectic. I've come to accept that as the state of our world today and have just learned to operate within the madness.

It's cool to see everyone breaking the silence on their prospective blogspots. That is almost everyone except Kathy and Rob. I constantly tell Kath that "the world is waiting to here what she has to say" She just smiles and says something that only Kath can say like, "I don't really have anything to say" or "I'll write when I have more time". We all know she is the master at making time and we also know that she has ton to say, but she mostly chooses to stay silent and soak in what others have to say. I respect that quality in a person. It's those that say the least that actually have the most to say.

It's always interesting to see what's running through every one's minds. Most everyone seems to have more interesting things to day that I. I'm usually just he one that's there for support. Jess came home from Korea this past Sunday. it was nice to walk into the house and find him, Naomi, and Mike just hanging out talking about everything and nothing, all at the same time. Jess starting complimenting me on how good of shape I'm in and how much they appreciate me being there for them and helping raise awareness for carcinoid. The interesting thing is that I don't feel like I can do much of anything except be there and provide that consistent support. it's sort of a helpless feeling for the cause but those compliments ensure me that I'm doing what I can and it means something to the family. I have so much respect for the "Blackwood 12" through all they've done, traveled, learned, grown yet everyone seems to stay grounded and in the moment. The perplexing thing is that they all seem to respect me for what I've done, stand for, and continue to support through their trials and tribulations, yet I feel fairly average compared to the them. It's quiet flattering but keeps me humble and sane all in the same sentence.

Reflecting on the past and what lies ahead for the future is something I often do in my own silent solitude. I'm always running the "what's is all mean" scenario in my head. I always wonder how Kathy is feeling on any given day but I never ask b/c I know she doesn't want to talk about it or draw attention to herself. I have to be satisfied in the fact that she's usually smiling, giving Rob grief about being late, talking about the spring flowers, or running out the door to an appointment or to go for a swim or a bike. That energy that comes off of her lets me know she's okay. I simply give her a hug each time I leave the house from visiting, as if to say silently, "I'm thinking of you and hoping you're okay." I hope she feels my concern.

For now I'll stay focused on the race at hand. I've trained to the max again this year, I feel like I'm in better shape than last year but for some strange reason I didn't feel like I had to train with the intensity that I did last year. I'm looking forward to attacking the course, immersing myself in the race, all the sights, sounds, smells, and pain and suffering that I will endure but I will constantly remind myself why we're doing this. In our minds it might be for a personal best on that day. Or maybe it's an outlet for our own personal demons that we may be struggling with internally. But one thing is for sure. Where ever our minds are during the race, we all be thinking of Kathy and the greater cause, the race to find a Cure for Carcinoid. I'm blessed to be a part of this event with my dearest friends and family and will continue to be there as long as they need me. I'm an open book............

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Empty Inside

It’s been a while since my last entry. I guess you could say I’ve been in a state of recovery or maybe searching for that next though to hit me. I realized today I needed to say something about my 2nd Triathlon experience. The Sandman Triathlon was held on September 14th at the Ocean Front in Virginia Beach. This particular event was very well organized and highly popular being orchestrated around the Neptune Festival.

I must say that I didn’t come into my 2nd Tri with as much enthusiasm as the first. Partly because I think my body was pretty tired and broke down. I had basically been training 6 days a week since January 3rd (See the Breezy Point Tri excerpt) with the exception of the 2 weeks I took off after that race. If you’ve ever experience endurance training it flat wears you out, both physically and mentally. You basically push your body to its edge (the sports scientists call it VO2 max or max threshold) and then go a little bit beyond that. It takes a toll on you like I cannot describe but the benefits are rewarding beyond my wildest imagination. I can honestly celebrate in the fact that I am in the best shape of my life, I’ve swam for distance in the Atlantic Ocean, sprinted a 14 mile bike ride until I thought my lungs were going to explode and polished the day off with a 5K run while my legs felt like 2 bricks underneath me…let’s just say that when it’s all said and done you’re left with a feeling of exuberation. Physically you’re glad it’s over. Mentally you’ve never had a clearer mindset in your life. Emotionally you realize that there isn’t much you can’t accomplish when you set your mind to it.

I believe the bigger reason why I hit my athletic “brick wall” going into the Sandman was the fact that the Blackwoods were not there for this event. We put a lot of time and energy into the Sandman back in June. The entire family and their cast of friends and relatives went all in on that race. This time it was just me. I must say there was a bit of emptiness inside. I needed those guys there. I needed their presence pushing me to my limits. Despite that emptiness inside I knew I had to do this race. I knew I had to carry the torch for Cathy and the entire Blackwood Family and continue to raise awareness for Carcinoid. This go around simply didn’t have the hype or the feel of something greater in the air but I do understand why they couldn’t compete this go around. I blame no one but myself for this empty feeling. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do these things. Sometimes I need outside influence pushing me to that next level. In retrospect I did fairly well. I bettered my swim by about 5 minutes and increased my average on the bike by 2 mph. I finished 30th out of 50 in my age group and 218 out of 730 overall. I’ve learned we must be happy in life with the small successes. The greatness will come eventually, it just doesn’t appear overnight. I know the Blackwoods were there in spirit. I know we'll all find greatness no matter what journey we decide to take on next.

For now I rest. I still workout but not at the Triathlon intensity that these events demand. It’s more for maintenance so I don’t lose the fitness that I worked so hard to achieve this past year. I’m definitely on a Tri hiatus until the turn of the New Year. For now I’ll reflect on the past, keep an eye towards the future and figure out what’s next in this journey. I’m slightly empty right now but I will use the Fall and Winter to recharge my body and my mind. I know we’ll be back in 2009 in full force. My only hope is that I don’t lose sight of why we started down this path……

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Sandman

Triathlon, Round#2. I’ve done it. I signed up for the Sandman Triathlon for September 14th. It’s in Hampton Roads again, this time at the ocean front with an open ocean swim to start off the festivities. This one took a lot of will power and much contemplation before I signed up. I just sent in my registration form on Sunday. For some reason this second go around was harder to push myself towards. Not sure if it’s b/c the pain from Breezy Point is fresh in my mind or if I’m not quite sure what the open ocean holds. I’ve been training. I only took 2 weeks off after Breezy Point but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to sign up for this one until just recently.

I find myself searching for a drive. The Blackwoods are focused on other things right now. I’m not sure if any of them will do the Sandman but I keep hinting for someone to sign up. It’s understandable, they all have a ton on their plates. Joe is busy with swimming, as usual, Anna is busy with, well everything that Anna is busy with. School, swimming, running, more school, helping out around the house, spending time with friends and trying to figure out life. Davey is busy making music, surfing (a lot) and sleeping (a lot). Nate is in Toronto working and spending time with his friends. Tim and Mike are back from Spain (sleeping a lot) and god only knows what those two boys have planned next. I’m sure it’s something adventurous and far away. Ben is busy with school and trying to be the first official Blackwood offspring to start a career. Jesse is super busy with writing, spending time with church functions, supporting the local Carcinoid support group, and looking toward Canada for the fall, maybe Toronto and looking at doing a Tri up there with his Uncle Jamie. Naomi is back home writing her Theses and I’m sure training for something far greater than a sprint triathlon. Steven is busy with school and figuring out how to be a newlywed and husband all at the same time. Rob is busy with, well things that Rob stays busy with. His practice keeps him jumping Monday through Friday. When he’s not working he’s busy doing kettle bells, riding his bike (way faster than genetics will ever let me ride) and breaking his toe on something, maybe a kettle bell, maybe a P90X workout. And then there is Cathy. I’m not sure when that lady sleeps if that tells you how busy she is. Between being the “do everything” person at the practice, keeping sanity at the home front, watering and gardening in the AM, swim workouts, and various medical appointments, I’m sure there is sleep involved somewhere in there, just haven’t actually seen her do it yet. No matter how late or early I show up at that household Cathy is awake, ever vigilant.

Come to think of it, the Blackwoods drive me. The Blackwood’s drive me to be a better all around person, mentally and physically. I watch them go, 100 mph, in all different directions, all at once. Yet there is peace and serenity in all that madness and that drives me. That drives me to do the same for my family and push myself to my physical limits all at the same time. I constantly ask myself, what more can I do for the Blackwoods? What more can I do for Carcinoid? I don’t have those answers yet but maybe they will come. Maybe I’m doing all I can do? I don’t know but I keep searching b/c I know if I’m still searching, still pushing myself to do more then the answers will come. Maybe the Sandman will provide a new path……….

Saturday, June 14, 2008

What Do You Do?

When you're staring at the bottom of a pool during a training session, 1500 meters later, trying to get that last couple of 100 meters in, your hip flexors have given up on you, your triceps are full of lactic acid, and your lungs are on fire.......What do you do? Do you stop swimming or dig deeper and keep going?

When you're spinning through your gears on a long winding road, straight into a headwind, trying to hold 20mph, your legs feeling like bricks, your hamstrings screaming for mercy, and you're only 8 miles into a 20 mile ride.....What do you do? Do you down shift into an easier gear and spin it out or dig deep and keep charging for that extra mph?

When you're knocking out a 40 minute run at 9pm at night when the temperature outside is still well into the 90's and the humidity is so high you feel like you're suffocating every time you take a breath......what do you do? Turn for home early or change your stride, redirect your breathing pattern and keep running until you've reached your goal?

What do you do when life gets tough? When your day doesn't go perfect? When a loved one gets bad news or is dealing with a difficult time in their life? When a friend or relative calls you spur of the moment and needs help? When you face a tough decision and there is no one around to offer advice? When you haven't heard from a friend in awhile and want to give them a call but don't because you think it's their turn. When you're giving your spouse 110% of your time, love, and energy and don't get the same in return? What do you do when a higher power calls on you to step out of your comfort zone? Lend a helping hand or donate money to a worthy cause? To give up your own personal agenda for the day to unselfishly help out those in need?

What do you do? Do you ignore the request, make an excuse, let the voicemail pickup? Or do you answer the call, rise to the occasion, give back, pay it forward? Do you give up and let life get the best of you or do you dig deep....like you did in the pool, on that bike ride, or on that suffocating run in the 90 degree heat?

What do you do?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The 1st Culmunation

We did it. The culmination of 5+ months of training came to a head on June 1st, The Breezy Point Triathlon. What an eventful day. I don’t know about the rest of you but I absolutely did not sleep the night before. I stayed busy the day before, preparing, packing, planning, working around the house, eating carbs, etc. in hopes that I would crash at roughly 9pm with no energy. I got in bed by 9pm but the inevitable crash never came. I read books that normally put me out in 15 mins or less. I took a warm shower. I laid in bed and thought of nothing and everything all at once. Nonetheless 4:30am on the June 1st finally came and so it began………..

I awoke with a surprising spring in my step. My bags were by the door. My pre warm up cloths lay neatly by the bathroom sink. My bike in the garage with the proper air pressure (set the night before) waiting to be loaded in the truck. My breakfast planned days in advance. My family awoke 30 mins later, surprisingly anxious to go see me race. We were literally out the door at 5:30am just as I planned it. Through the gate at 6am on the nose, already made contact with the Blackwood’s to verify that they were up an operational. They were enroute. I slowly made my way to check in, trying to control my nerves, trying to take it all in, put everything in retrospect. It was the perfect day. Despite the name, Breezy Point, the day was fairly calm, sunny, warm and extremely humid.

Check in was not as chaotic as I anticipated. The organizers of breezy point had everything planned out. There was an obvious line to check your bike in and get your body marked. I had hopes of huge numbers down both of my shoulders/arms. They merely marked my right hand with my number. I imagined this would suffice. I made my way to the transition area. Getting there so early gave me the pick of the litter for my age group. I chose a spot right by the entrance, which would turn out to later be the final transition exit from bike to run. I guess it’s all a wash in retrospect. I nervously set up my area. Not knowing what I was doing I unpacked my bag, shoes (bike and run), jersey, wetsuit, helmet, glasses, suit juice (aka lubricant), sunscreen, visor, towel, water bottles, etc. I had a couple of guys around me who were in a calm mood and seemed up for idle chitchat. We talked, made comments, went on about our routine. Once set up I headed for the scoring table to get my timing chip. Neat little device that fits around your ankle. I then started looking for my friends and family. I could see the Blackwood’s start to pepper in. Everything was coming together.

It was approximately 1 hour before start time. I started my warm ups. I stretched, got on my bike and did an easy 2-mile ride, spinning through most of my gears. Despite the short jaunt I came back sweating profusely. Did I mention it was humid? Roughly 77% by the weather guessers’ calculations. I got back in my flip-flops and headed towards the tarmac where we would be entering and exiting the swim. I walked back and forth to my transition area twice. I had read a horror story about a US Triathlete hopeful who trained his guts out for months and blew the race b/c he couldn’t find his bike for a full 5 minutes after exiting the swim first. That was not going to be, regardless of it being my first time. Shortly after my obsessive routine they opened the bay for warm ups. I dove in with my jammer on, not doing any real warm up but just to feel the water, to tell my body it was time. We were now at T-15 mins and counting. I proceeded back to my transition area where I began to lub up with body glide and put on my wet suit. They started calling the first wave to the transition area. Time seemed to be flying at this point. Surprisingly I wasn’t nervous. I actually mustered a smile. I told myself I would have fun and not stress out. I went over to give my wife one last hug, my daughter one last kiss for good luck. This hug seemed to last for an hour albeit a few fleeting seconds. I made my way to the transition area. This is where things got weird. I ran into 3 of my coworkers. Guys I see everyday but had no idea they were going to compete in the Tri. Weird.

The swim. We staged up like a coral full of sheep, only in the water and most of us had no hair (see tapering for dummies). This got comical. Everyone was in a really good mood and joking around. Guys were peeing next to you and no one cared, probably b/c we were all peeing on one another. We started jocking for position, in a humorous kid of way. The horn sounded and we were off. Wave #2. I took some friends advice and stayed out of the may lay. Hung in the back on the outside lane. I never made it back to the inside. Not sure if it was the current or my right side being the stronger stroke. It wasn’t because of the crowd. I probably swam more like 1300 meters rather than the allotted 1000 meters. Call me an overachiever. Nonetheless I completed the minimum required distance of 1000 meters in 22 mins. About 5 minutes faster than I had done in any training sessions. I came out of the water realizing I had put the toughest part of the Tri behind me…..so I thought.

The bike was next and the leg I was looking most forward too. Partly b/c I had a new bike and partly b/c this was foreign to me, bike racing that is. I ran up the tarmac stripping off my wetsuit to a wave of looker’s on cheering loudly. Surprisingly I found my friends and family in the may lay. They were right up front cheering us on. This cleared my groggy head and gave me a boost of energy to press on. The transition was smooth, no real hiccups. Got the wetsuit off smoothly, dried my feet, slipped my socks and shoes on, threw on my helmet, unracked my bike and sprinted for the next time mat. I was off. Rough goings at the beginning as the wind was pretty heavy heading out. Probably more so my exhaustion due to the swim than anything. It took me about 3 miles to really get into my groove and then I was sailing. For the first time in 5 months I felt what race intensity fells like. I was flying. Holding 20mph at times and peaking at 24mph through certain parts. I even mustered a smile. I felt like I had arrived. I inadvertently hooked up with 2 other guys going about the same pace. We weren’t drafting but we certainly played leapfrog the rest of the way. This was a blessing in disguise. One of us would pass the other two, surprising to the cheers of the others. We were starving to push each other. When the front-runner would wear out the other would pop out and take the lead. It was an unsaid respect for the sport, the drive, and the endurance of the other man. I came in off the 12.6-mile bike leg feeling confident, as if I had already won, knowing my strongest discipline lay before me in the last leg.
The run was, well, arduous to say the least. I mentioned the humidity before? It’ reared it’s ugly head on the run. With virtually no shade and absolutely no breeze (I begged god to provide some and he didn’t hear me) we were all pretty much suffocating during the longest 5K of our lives. At the beginning my calves felt like 2 bricks. I was certain they were going to lock up. They never did. I had a terrible crap in my side most of the way through, partly because of the heat, partly because of mild dehydration but mostly b/c I wasn’t in the best shape I could have been This is where it got a little emotional. Every muscle in my body was telling me to stop, double over, puke, give up but I didn’t. I thought of Cathy, what she must be going through, with her treatments, the weekly shots, the soreness, the fatigue from the meds. I demanded myself not to stop. I would keep running b/c Cathy is still going, despite everything. Miraculously my side crap went away about 2.5 miles into the run. I saw about 5 people ahead of me that had passed me earlier as if I were standing still. I kicked it into my normal 6:50 mile pace. I had gotten my, what had to be, 5th wind by now. I saw the home stretch. Saw the crowd waiting and could hear them cheering, louder as I got closer. This brought tears to my eyes. I must have been sprinting by now. 1 and ½ hours of energy output and I was now sprinting. I finished strong, seeing my wife and daughter at the very end, cheering me on once again. I felt on top of the world. I felt like I had arrived. I did. 1 hour and 32 minutes later at the finish line. Nothing to write home about but nothing to scoff at either. Finished 22nd out of 44 guys in my age group but it wasn’t about the placement or the overall time. It was about the beginning of a journey. The experience with the Blackwood’s. The cause to raise awareness for Carcinoid. That we did. I talked to several people that afternoon that asked me what “Tri for Life” was all about. I spoke about it as if it was my passion. It is. I’m committed to this. I have arrived. Not on the Triathlon scene, rather, on the Blackwood scene, as a member of a small army that will engage in this journey for the duration.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Ready (from late May)

It’s the fort night before our spring board Triathlon that will begin to raise awareness for Carcinoid. I had doubts about whether or not I was going to be ready for this event about a month ago (see my “Calibrated by the Ocean” blog….) I’ve sense had an epiphany and I now know that I am ready.

It’s literally 4 days before the Tri and I’m in my “taper” phase. Not like Dr. Rob’s taper phase, ala training around tapering, I’m really doing a taper. I never understood why athletes tapered until now. It’s sort of a pseudo physical and mental recharge. Physically to let your body recover from a long training regimen as well as fuel up for “the race.” I now appreciate a carb load as much as the next person. Mentally to reflect on why you’re doing the race, reflecting on your long training routine, and contemplating how race day might play out. It’s been a long winding road of soul searching, both physically and mentally. I used my taper period to do some rough calculations as well. I figured I’ve trained for roughly 68+hours. In those 68 hours I’ve accomplished 40 brick workouts consisting of back to back swim/bike or bike/run sessions to prepare for race day. I’ve woken as early as 4:30am to train by 5am so I could make it to work on time. I’ve trained as late as 10pm biking or running around my dark neighborhood. Surprisingly I never ran into traffic or had any close calls with 2000+lb vehicles that couldn’t’ see me. Dumb luck I guess. I figure I’ve swam over 48,000 meters, biked over 900 miles, and ran over 160miles. I’ve purchased everything from anti chaffing cream to a time trial bike and everything in between. I’ve meet new friends along the way, reacquainted with some old ones, and realized what I always knew but was too busy to stop and look around. There are some really great people in this world. The Blackwoods are the model of greatness we should all strive to become.

One can really find themselves while staring at the bottom of a pool or riding solo down a windy country road. I’ve ran the gamut of emotions throughout this cycle. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried during training sessions. I’ve felt pain, joy, sadness, disbelief, release, refreshed, and refocused. I’ve consulted swim coaches, bike aficianados, and marathon runners, made countless trips to my massage therapists and read more training and nutrition articles than you can shake a stick at. I’ve studied the training course add nauseaum and read every USAT rule that could possible disqualify me. I packed my gear 2 days in advance, lubed the @#$% out of my bike chain, and obsessed over every fine detail you could imagine (just ask my wife).

I’m ready for this race. This race doesn’t do this journey justice because this is only the beginning. This race isn’t the culmination of a build up of 5 months of training for 1 day. This race is the beginning of a journey that we’re on together. We’ve committed to “Tri for Life” and I don’t think anyone’s taking that lightly. We’ve committed to not stopping on June 1st. We’re going to keep charging, trying to find more avenues to raise awareness for Carcinoid, unique ways to raise more funds for a cure. We’ve committed to journey down an aggressive path to save Cathy and others that may be suffering from this silent disease. Hard times and curves in the road sometimes deter people’s hopes and dreams. One thing that cannot be deterred in this journey is determination. We’re determined to help raise awareness and hopefully raise enough funds to find a cure.

We’re ready. I can’t wait to see what’s next…..